


Pulling Rank

by Bi_Mess_Fangirl_100



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:55:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29967393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bi_Mess_Fangirl_100/pseuds/Bi_Mess_Fangirl_100
Summary: Lister and Rimmer fight. All the time. Lister is just too tired.
Relationships: Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Pulling Rank

"Smeghead!" Lister called after Rimmer as he walked out. That stupid 3rd technician. With his horrifically incorrect opinions, terrible taste in music, a voice like a dying cat, annoying face, stupid smirk, terrible hair and awful dress sense. He knew nothing. Nothing! Rimmer grumbled under his breath as he stormed down the corridor to their shared bunk room.

Lister collapsed into a seat in the drive room. Once again that uptight smegger had had the audacity to tell him he was wrong. Lister had lost track of what it was they were even arguing about. It seemed like an argument a day now and they all just rolled into one. He was tired. Tired of this stupid ship, his only company a cat and an uptight bastard with no empathy, terrible music, stupid curly hair and mocking brown eyes. That stupid hologram did everything to annoy him. They argued and argued constantly. And Lister was tired of it. But there was always something. Rimmer chastising him for his eating habits or having an unclean shirt on or talking to much or being to loud or drinking or smoking. And that annoying little pretentious smirk Rimmer does when he is certain he's right and often isn't. That annoyed him the most. Head falling into his hands, Lister groaned, wishing for this hell to end.

Rimmer lay on his bed reading when Lister walked in, singing terribly.

"Oh Lunar City Seven You're my idea of heaven Out of ten you score eleven You good ol' Ti-"

"Shut up." Rimmer felt Lister's glare as the 3rd technician defiantly raised his voice louder and pulled a cigarette from his pocket, reaching for his guitar. Without taking his eyes from his book Rimmer said

"Touch that instrument and I will remove the E string and garrotte you with it."

"It's my guitar Rimmer, you can't tell me what to do with it."

Mustering his most commanding tone Rimmer said "I can, as senior ranking member aboard this ship I can tell you exactly what to do and when to do it Lister" and turned to glare at Lister to find the man's eyes abnormally wide and his face slightly flushed. Lister cleared his throat slightly, mumbling

"whatever smeghead" and rushing out of the room. _That was weird_ thought Rimmer before immediately dismissing it as just another strange thing about his unfortunate bunkmate and going back to his book.

Lister stood in a corridor... somewhere on the Red Dwarf. It was cold and that was what mattered. The cool air caressed his heated cheeks. What had just happened? It can't have been anything. Lister didnt... he wasnt... Rimmer... there was no way to explain it. So he didn't. It was clearly a freak accident and Lister could ignore it. It would just fade from memory.

Except it wasn't. And he couldn't. And it didn't. Every time Rimmer pulled (his honestly pathetic) rank it happened. The voice. It was the voice. Lister sat on his bunk that night thinking. More than he had thought in a long time. Could he think of Rimmer... like that? He had to admit, the hologram did have nice hair and a very appealing jawline and pretty eyes and his shoulders... okay so maybe Lister had a bit of a thing for him. But it didn't matter. Nothing would ever come of it.

Oh how wrong he was.

See as much as people believe that Rimmer had next to no knowledge of real attraction or anything similar, this was very wrong. He wasn't an idiot. He could see that every time he pulled rank lister would get flustered and run off. It didn't take a genius to work that one out. What Rimmer was not so sure about was himself. He was almost shocked when he found himself ever so slightly pleased at the idea. The hologram wasn't blind, even he could see that with a shower and some fresh clothes Lister could be really rather appealing. He slowly found himself pulling rank more and more often just to watch the pretty little boy squirm.

"Rimmer? you awake?" Lister called down from his bunk.

"Yes." came the curt reply.

"Why do we argue so much?"

"Because you're an idiot who knows nothing"

"No I'm not, you're just stuck up!"

"I am not! Just because I have-"

"This is what I mean!" Lister interrupted the hologram mid sentence "Everytime we have a conversation it turns into an argument. I'm fed up of it." There was a small silence from the bunk below.

"Maybe, yes. I guess we do argue alot."

"We should stop."

"We should. Although personally I think pulling my rank seems to end arguments rather well." Lister feels his face warm up as he hears the smirk in Rimmer voice.

"I-I- I didnt- its not-"

"Lister. I think we should talk about it in the morning."

"Okay."

And they did talk about it in the morning. Alot. Well they meant to. They talked a bit. But pretty quickly they stopped talking and started moaning.


End file.
